Date: Apr. 24, 2007
Headline: Where The Hell Is Hualien?

Hualien Tetrapod, a multinational manufacturer of tetrapods based on
the east coast of Taiwan, has recently purchased the Melbourne Horemen
from TWHL league officials. While the company have little experience
in running a professional hockey team, the potential money-making
possibilities in a market such as Melbourne were too much for the
greedy executives to pass up.

"We are very excited to be part of the TWHL family." Noted Ryan
St.Onge, Cairman and CEO of Hualien Tetrapod. "It's a fine day in the
history of the TWGL."

Blunders aside, the new ownership has decided to take a "wait and see"
approach to management. No immediate changes are expected in the
organization which currently stands in 3rd place in the Lee Division
with arecord of 15-9, but it has been noted that should profitability
decline there may be a shake up in the front office.

"We have the utmost confidence in the organization and expect them to
perform to maximum money making capacity."

When asked about the purchase star goalie Jamie McLennan said: "Where
the hell is Hualien?"