Date:
Headline: Havana Wins!!!
Havana Wins!!! Havana Wins!!! Cuba united in Joy (11)!
The Havana United returned to Cuba after winning game 6 of the finals, and winning their second consecutive TWHL Trans-World Cup.
The Havana United paraded down Fidel Castro Way, through the heart of Havana. A vast crowd of 449,042 (1)(2) dufully (3) applauded as they passed.
Team Captain Chris Pronger, who didn't score in the playoffs, made a brief statement outside Raul's Bar (4) "Thank you for your support."
Associate Captain Mike Riberio was marginally more verbose. "Thank you very much for your support." (5)
GM Nathan Daniel thanked the fans, and spoke of the future. "Thanks. I won't be back." (6)
Havana announced their 'Castro' Award winner, given annually (8) to Havana's best playoff performer. Alex Ponikarovsky, who was second in the playoffs in points, along with a staggering +34 in 19 games, was this year's winner. (9)
Havana's players are expected to spend the summer on PR tours, extolling the virtues of this simple island paradise (12) to visiting dignitaries.
(1) The Cuban government employs 449,000 people in Havana, and, the government, through the simple expediency of changing their work locations to the sidewalk, had all of them on the parade route.
(2) The extra 49 people were noted by the Cuban Secret Service, and have been detained.
(3) The real applause came when Taipei beat Stockholm, as all Cuban's knew that the cup was a fore-gone conclusion.
(4) No relation to Raul Castro. (10)
(5) Cuba's speechwriters have been thrown in jail for alleged anti-Raul Castro sentiments.
(6) Daniel's retirement has been widely rumoured, and has been confirmed by all 3 independent journalists in Cuba. (7)
(7) Make that 2 independent journalists. Natural causes, of course.
(8) Four times in 11 years, actually, as Havana hasn't made the playoffs very often.
(9) P.M. Bouchard and Mike Riberio have won it in the last two years, respectively. Nobody can remember the previous time the United made the playoffs.
(10) In a spontaneous offer of support for the Cuban government, Raul's bar is now property of Raul Castro.
(11) Used with permission.
(12) Used with permission